Archive for October, 2014

Being Present

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on October 31, 2014 by tivaniam

Most of us, if we’re really lucky, get to experience a profound revelation after a traumatic or otherwise difficult life experience. We do the hard work to help us recover and own our mistakes and move forward. Equipped with useful information and with the best intentions of participating fully, passionately and harmoniously with the world, we enter into a new realm of spiritual existence.

We all know that there is no meritocracy in this world and bad things do happen to good people. So when shit happens, as it inevitably does, all of the good intentions and useful knowledge do little to circumvent the spiral into chaos within our mind.

It may be difficult to remain positive when life kicks you in the ass and your plans get derailed, but, remaining positive is a choice – something I personally have to condition my mind and heart into believing, every moment of every day.

These are the tools that work for me, which I share with you.

Always believe that the view from the factory is exactly the same as the view from the ivory tower.

In other words, believe that you already possess every single thing you need. And you will want for nothing.

Support comes in many forms. Wake up and pay attention.

I had my heart broken by a person that I thought was my best friend. So believe me, trusting people is not easy. But if you pay attention, you do see that people actually do reveal themselves to you from the beginning, but as fallible humans, we see what we want to see. I have learnt though, that there are genuinely kind and supportive people in this world who are selfless. But, you get what you give. Treat people with contempt and anger, and that is what you will get in return. Demonstrate love in every way – irrespective of how it is received – and you always get back love in return. I have learnt this lesson several times over, and I am a believer of it completely. I have received support in different ways, giving me exactly what I needed to help me cope with whatever situation I found myself in.

Breathe.

Sounds simplistic, but it’s actually harder than it sounds. Too often our minds are consumed with worry, pressure, stress and ‘doing’ that we forget how to be still. I have discovered the therapeutic benefits of removing myself from life for a few moments each day and finding a secluded spot to shut my eyes and breathe. One minute is all you need. The oxygen that reaches your brain has the most profound effect on your frame of mind.

Dance

I used to be the eternal wallflower. Too stiff to move freely, always consumed with what people would think or say about me to be free enough to dance. I have recently been reminded that life is not an episode of “SA’s Got Talent”. I don’t need to be good at it to be able to know intrinsically, how to move. If you want to test this theory, listen to “Can you feel it” by the Jackson Five and see what happens to your body instinctively. Be free to move as you did when you were a child. The benefits of this can’t even be verbalised. It’s a feeling where words do no justice.

Whatever you focus on, you create more of. Live a life of gratitude and abundance would surely follow.

 

 

 

Voting For Myself

Posted in Uncategorized on October 13, 2014 by tivaniam

Every thirty seconds, somewhere around the world, someone makes the decision to end their life, and succeeds. Thirty seconds. Time is relative, so, sit with it for a minute. And while you reflect, two more people would be dead.

I’ve been candid about my struggle with depression. I’ve tried to shed light on the subject and break the stigma that surrounds it. But, based on those statistics, it is clear that people are still opting to live in silence, in fear of the judgment that inevitably follows.

Depression is an illness. It is not something that we can “pull ourselves together” from, or barter with God to remove from our thoughts. It is a disease of the brain that requires intervention, help and most of all, love. Love for ourselves and love from others. Unconditional love – something most of us don’t even know the meaning of. We suffer from FOMO and succumb to deceitful pretences on social media platforms that advocate and promote blissful, perfect lives. A far cry from the reality of darkened rooms, nights spent crying ourselves to sleep. Why do we need to perpetuate the fake perfection of our lives to our fellow humans? Why not call a spade a spade and be true and kinder to ourselves?

While unashamedly speaking about the reasons for my depression, I’ve never gone back to that day. The day that changed my life forever. This is my story.

I walked out of the office on that cold May evening in a daze. I remembered parking in front of the building of the law firm I worked for and couldn’t remember why I chose not to park in the allocated staff basement. The icy air hit my face hard as I ran to my car. I had a particularly rough day. The night before, I wept in silence, in a heap on my lounge floor. Silently – so that I didn’t wake the kids or nanny. I prayed to my dead father to take me wherever he was. I knew that there was a difference between feeling sad and being depressed. Depression consumed me. I couldn’t function and lived each day in limbo. Suicide invaded my every thought. I felt like I was the protagonist in a theatrical drama and instead of the standing ovation, people pointed and laughed hysterically. The humiliation and the betrayal over the weeks prior, was too much to bear. I was taunted, ostracised and fuelled by despair. Coupled with the divorce, the endless fighting, custody battle and trying to maintain a semblance of normality with the children, was overwhelming. On that cold night, I knew, I had to end it all and make the pain go away forever.

I stopped at a garage and typed a memo on my phone to my children. I told them how much I loved them and that this was in no way their fault or a testament that they weren’t enough. It was simply that I was too weak and had no fight left in me. I was done. Their beautiful, smiling faces looked at me from my cellphone and I was completely numb. I thought I was doing them a favour, as I was of no use to them. I never felt scared at the prospect of crashing into something. I hoped it would be over quickly, the fear masked by the adrenalin. I thought momentarily of my mother and felt relief that she was in KZN and would hopefully not see my mangled body.

Coldplay’s ‘Lights will guide you home’ started playing. Amidst a flood of tears, preparing to crash into anything and meet my death, I sped out into the busy Sandton street.

And, found my way home.

I felt like I had an out of body experience. I don’t know how I got home, perhaps divine intervention? Despite that, the thoughts of suicide never left me. I knew I was going to do it one way or another, the typed memo still saved on my cellphone. It was just a matter of time.

The universe had other ideas and a turn of events found me seated at a SOAR workshop a week later, the catalyst that proved to be the turning point for my life. Coaches and co-founders of the SOAR Institute, Gavin Friedman and Riaad Isaacs, saved me from myself and forced me to do the work necessary and face the fear. I was reminded of my essence – of who and what I am authentically. And I was freed.

Depression is an issue, not an identity. Break the silence. Speak your truth. Be free and give others the permission to be authentic about their suffering. Let’s strip away the negativity around depression and see it for what it’s worth – a disease that can be cured. Most importantly, vote for yourself. And start your own healing. Life is a gift. Let’s learn to love it.

Pathway to Nirvana

Posted in Uncategorized on October 10, 2014 by tivaniam

We live in a society where success is measured by impressive titles. Women work hard to climb the corporate ladder and often sacrifice themselves in a quest to achieve the six figure income – the proverbial dream. The allure of living in comfort outweighing the sacrifice. This often results in people living existential lives, moving in autopilot and not actually taking a moment to remain still. Childhood dreams are often supressed, if not entirely dismissed. Sound familiar?

Praveena Boodhoo (42) spent 25 years mounting the rungs to achieve enviable success within the fast paced financial sector. She was the protagonist in her own story, yet the yearning in her soul for ‘something’ never left her. In March this year, without a back-up plan, Praveena left the career she spent half a decade slogging for. With nothing more than the desire to start living authentically, Praveena, unlike a lot of women, chose the path less travelled and surrendered the dream for a higher calling.

Born with the gift of foresight, Praveena travelled the streets of Egypt, Ireland, India, Singapore, Kuala Lampur and Mauritius in search of meaning. Fuelled by the need to lift her soul to its highest calling, Praveena enrolled in several courses to master the art of healing, certifying as a Reiki Master and Yoga Instructor who is also certified to perform massage therapy.

Pathway to Nirvana was born from the dream to give back. By combining her different forms of therapy, Praveena aims at providing holistic wellbeing – a sensory experience that affects the mind as well. This tenure has brought about the most joy and fulfilment than any title she could have gotten over the years. The risk of leaving the stability and lifestyle that the corporate world brings has proved to be worthwhile now that Praveena is living her dream. And there is no price attached to living authentically.

If you wish to make enquiries regarding any treatments on offer both spiritual and physical, Praveena can be contacted via e-mail at nirvanapd6@gmail.com

 

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